One of my pastors recently said something so profound that I can’t stop thinking about it. He said:
“Marriage is an art, not a science.” – Gui Kerr
It seemed simple on the surface but as I thought more about it, I began to see the depth of what he meant.
No one has ever found a successful formula for relationships that can be applied across the board. Each relationship has it’s own design. There is an element of artistry involved because each one of our hearts is a unique canvas.
I’ve read plenty of books on marriage and many of them provide prescriptive formulas such as “10 Steps To A Better Marriage.” The problem is that it never works for everyone.
Relationships are not one size fits all.
The same is true of our relationship with God. You know how much we love to say that we’re not into religion, we’re into a relationship with God? That’s a great sentiment but when we then try to take prescriptive steps in how we relate to God, frustration sets in.
Morning devotions and prayer times become formulaic in our attempt to make a connection. When it doesn’t work for some people, they feel like they’re doing something wrong.
Doctrines and teachings become so dogmatic, even gray areas have no room for discussion. When every issue is black and white, what we call a relationship really just becomes a scientific equation.
That’s why the deepest and most profound relationships are the ones that evolve over time. The ones where you learn by experience are the most authentic because it goes beyond a checklist to actually understanding each other at a heart level.
We are all called to be heart artists.
The heart is the most beautiful canvas we will ever traverse. It will never be reduced to a formula because it is ever changing. Science is great and it has it’s place. But maybe we should keep those formulas out of our relationships.
Do you believe there is a difference in treating relationships as an art as opposed to a science?