404 Daddy Issues: A Series

Daddy Issues: A Series

“Fathers be good to your daughters, daughters will love like you do.” – John Mayer

When we think of “daddy issues” we’re typically referring to what’s behind the attention-seeking, flirtatious, promiscuous, overly emotional woman. In a sense there is truth to this generalization but daddy issues aren’t only reserved for women or even these specific characteristics. They affect us all in more ways than we realize.

Over the past 2 years I’ve been a part of the inner healing ministry in my church. I’ve walked a number of people through various issues in life.

I’ve found that fear in some form surfaces in the lives of nearly every person that walks through the door. Without fail, fear finds it’s root in father issues.

These issues manifest in our lives through fear, anxiety, depression, worry, control, insecurity, isolation and apathy.

Our relationship to our fathers is the most foundational way that we are established in our identity. Because we relate to God as a Father, when we encounter pain and hurt with our earthly father it creates a disconnect from our heavenly Father.

This new series will discuss a father’s influence in shaping our identity. It will cover the 3 key things that fathers bring to children. It will describe the result of not receiving one or all of these things and provide guidance on what to do to find healing.

This series aims to hit the root of fear, expose the lies it tells, reveal the truth of God’s word, help us release forgiveness and bring us back into healthy relationship with the One that gives us our true identity.

I hope you join me as I go deeper into our daddy issues and find out what it really means to find your identity in Christ.

I’ll leave you with a question to ponder as we begin into this series:

Do (did) you have good relationship with your father?



  1. I was definitely blessed to have a great relationship with my dad.
    Jon Stolpe recently posted..Solitude

  2. I had a disconnected relationship with my father. I felt he was disappointed in what he got as a son and I didn’t get the identity I needed from him.
    Thomas Mason recently posted..The More in the Less

    • You’re not alone in this, my friend. But know that there is hope in the identity that God can speak directly into our hearts. As I close out the series, I’ll share how I found that identity that I was so desperately seeking in my own life.

  3. I have a decent relationship with my Dad. There seems to be too much surface level going on – and I desire something deeper. This is a point of constant prayer for me.

    • I know exactly what you mean, Jus. Sons always long for that deeper connection with their fathers. Hopefully I can shed some light on the scope of how much it means.

      I’m praying for this with you, bro!

  4. My dad did not have a great relationship with his father and vowed at his father’s grave that he would be a much better father which is has accomplished. My dad and I have a wonderful relationship, and he is one of my favorite people.
    Bethany Turner recently posted..requirement #1

    • That’s SO encouraging to hear, Bethany. One of the most important things is to be aware of what you’ve experienced and break the cycle in dysfunction. Thanks for sharing!

  5. Father issues are huge…

  6. This is a huge, huge topic. Thanks for covering it.

    My dad left when I was 4, barely knew him, saw him occasionally over the years. In 2000, I was hoping that if I had kids I would bond better with him, but he took his life. Ironically, when we found out we were pregnant, the date the doctor assigned was the same day he killed himself.

    This thing has had one positive result: it’s made me very intentional in my role as a father.

    • Wow, that’s quite a story. Thanks for sharing that James. Abandonment and rejection are HUGE issues that come into our lives due to our relationship (or lack thereof) with our fathers.

      I’ll be going through this and what I’ve found is the most healthy way to deal with it in our lives.

      • God did an amazing thing to show me how He would father me in the absence of my father. Sadly, I couldn’t post the link to my piece at Burnside which describes this. So here’s the last part:

        A few years ago, I was home on the Friday before Father’s Day. I was alone for an hour or two, so I pulled up something on the internet. A singer I really
        like was about to release his new CD, and it was being offered for listening at a website. One of the songs is called “You Don’t know My Love.” It’s ostensibly by a man wooing a woman, but I could hear God speaking to me, about His love for me.

        He was saying that although I hadn’t always been open to letting Him love me in a father/son sort of way, He still wanted to Father me.

        The relevant lyrics:

        If you’ve cried a river
        If you doubt your dreams
        If you’ve waited in vain for a phone that won’t ring
        If you think a promise is something you can’t trust
        Then you don’t know my love

        I’ve been falling, falling
        Ever since I met you
        Trying to get you to finally see
        That no one is ever gonna love you like Me

        I was mesmerized when I heard that, and played it over and over again for the next several days. I couldn’t get enough of that song. It was clear that God was speaking about pursuing me, telling me to open up and let Him father me. I wish I could say I have done that and my whole life was miraculously changed that day, but the reality is that it’s been gradual rather than instantaneous. And that’s okay. I’ll get there.
        James Williams recently posted..Star Wars vs. that other movie

  7. My dad was awesome! I don’t know how anyone makes it without a good father. Can’t wait to see him again in heaven!
    TC Avey recently posted..The New N-word

  8. Peter Grahams says:

    I am a daddy, and I make sure that I spend substantial time with my kids, bond with them and just be a great father to them. I believe issues come on individual basis, because I personally likes spending as much time with my kids as I can.
    Peter Grahams recently posted..Shin Ohtake review

    • It sounds like you’re a great father, Peter. We need more examples like you. Especially to young men raising kids. I hope you check out the series. I’d love to hear any wisdom you can impart.

  9. I don’t have a great relationship with my dad. But, my children have a great relationship with theirs!

    More than ever, I understand the importance of a father’s role, now that I see my husband and our kids together. Moms are great, too, don’t get me wrong. But I think there’s a difference. A mom makes a family unit feel whole, even if it isn’t. And a mom makes a house feel like a home, even if it’s not much of one.

    But a dad makes the child feel whole. A father’s love is crucial to helping us feel like what we are is good enough. My kids love me as much as they do their daddy, but it’s his shoes that they want to walk around in. He’s who my sons want to grow up to be, and who my daughter thinks hung the moon. And I love that. That I didn’t have that relationship makes me so very grateful that my children will.

    I’m looking so forward to this series. Thank you for doing it, I know it’s going to be great!
    Nikki Weatherford recently posted..There is a war on marriage.

    • That’s awesome that your kids have that great relationship. It’s so vital.

      And yeah, there’s no doubt moms are absolutely amazing and they bring a TON to shape who we are. My goal is to look at it from the father’s side of the equation here.

      It’s basically just an overflow of what I’ve learned through my life and what God has been teaching me through others.

  10. Anytime anyone writes about fathers and how they are to love their children, I grieve for my son. His father basically only takes him every other weekend because he has to, or at least that is how it appears. He tells him not to be who he is, he yells at him over stupid things…and the list goes on. I pray that the fathers or soon to be fathers who read these posts will see what God has to say to each of them!
    April recently posted..Apologies…again!

    • I hope you find good news in this series, even amidst the pain or lack that your son might be experiencing. Or any that you may have experienced in your own life.

      The goal this series is actually the opposite of blaming fathers. I believe that’s where we find the freedom.

  11. Thanks for putting this together Tony. As the father of three girls, the pressure is on for sure.

    It will be interesting to see what you write down for us to chew on for a while!

    As for my father and I, we do not have a good relationship at all.
    Matthew Snider recently posted..How To Avoid Limited “Unlimited” Data

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