404 My Father’s Daughter

My Father’s Daughter

I feel extremely blessed by the community on this blog. I’ve never had to turn away a guest post that was submitted to me. They haven’t just been acceptable, I’ve loved every single one of them. Today’s post is no exception. My new friend Nikki is sharing what it’s like to be her father’s daughter. It’s powerful. Enjoy!

My Father's Daughter

I am my Father’s daughter. At least, that’s what I once thought. For the first 12 years of my life that was my go-to response anytime someone asked me who I was. My purpose, my self-worth, my entire sense of identity was wrapped up in one man; Daddy. My favorite movie was Rocky, because his favorite movie was Rocky. I thought OJ was guilty because he thought OJ was guilty. The list goes on and on.

Things changed around that 12th year of life when my Dad re-married. Suddenly, my foundation was pulled out from under me, and I was sent spinning. He moved away, and our relationship was never the same. What ensued was a course of self-discovery that led very nearly led to self-destruction.

Fast forward 6 years. It was the first day of my first semester in college and I found myself sitting in a philosophy class with a very strange man lecturing. I listened for an hour while he threw out his own personal philosophy on life, my interest was waning. Then, he wrote a question on the board. It was that same question that I had been trying to answer for 6 years. That same question I had been running from while longing to find.

Who are you?

I listened as people answered confidently. Some said, “I am an athlete”, some, “I am a mother”, others tossed around academic achievements and aspirations. All I could come up with was, “I am a statistic.” I dropped the class the next day.

Three months later I attended a Passion conference in Nashville. I had grown up in church, but up until that point I had never fully grasped the purpose of it all. Fancy clothes, old songs, creaky old pews; I missed anything beyond that.

I had “walked the aisle” at the age of 8, but had no idea what accepting Jesus into my heart meant. I had no comprehension of His sacrifice on the cross. I had no idea what it meant to be discipled, or to live a crucified life. I didn’t get it. So, at the tender age of 18 things began to click. I was, for the first time, really involved in a church body. I was engaging with people who had a passion for Jesus that was evident and infectious. I was being discipled, and loving every minute of it.

I signed up to go to this Passion conference. I didn’t know what it was or what I was getting myself into. We got there, sang a lot, heard some pretty great speakers, and I enjoyed a weekend without any intoxicating substances; it was nice. What made it life-changing was one seemingly insignificant statement made by one of the small group leaders in passing: “I am a child of God.”

Who are you? Who am I? After years of being haunted by these questions I felt like the answer was lingering somewhere close by. One month after Nashville, alone in my dorm room, I had my Bible open to Romans. Written on the pages in front of me was my answer.

“For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, “Abba! Father!” The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him.” –Romans 8:14-18

I realized that night that I had been right all along. From the very beginning. I am my FATHER’S daughter. In Him my identity is safe, it is solid, it is unchanging. Anything else is shaky.

I got down on my face that night and gave my life to Christ. My whole life. My whole love. I surrendered unto Him, and wept with relief over my discovery. The years of feeling like I was floating around with no way to firmly plant my feet, were now swept away with one word: adoption. He chose me. I am His.

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Nikki is a wife to a wonderful husband, mother to 3 sweet kids, and daughter to a faithful Father. She loves Jesus, and is passionate about spreading His Word & His love to others. She loves writing, reading, gardening with her hubby, and playing dinosaurs with her kids. You can find her at her blog: Christian By Association

Comments

  1. Totally…awesome and beautiful!
    Jay Cookingham recently posted..Bad Sheep – OT Time

  2. Fantastic post. As someone who was abandoned by his father, I too thought I was less “human” because I didn’t have one of those. I lived my life with that identity. But when He, the Father of lights, adopted me, now I live for him and find my true identity in Him.

    Thanks for sharing your heart.
    Moe recently posted..Love, Fear and Temples: My 9/11 Reflection

  3. I love this Nikki – we are ADOPTED – and it’s so good to be reminded of how much He LOVES us!
    Cindy Holman recently posted..What Is Trust? – A Guest Post For Marni Arnold

  4. Thank you for sharing this. Our true identity is wrapped in His love. Thank you for the reminder.
    kd sullivan recently posted..Cicada Song – Truth in the Ordinary

  5. Great post. This resonated with me, “That same question I had been running from while longing to find.” So often, as we search for what we really need and what we long to find, we end up running in the wrong direction.
    Eileen recently posted..Lessons From Falling Off The Road

  6. I’m glad that you found your true identity. And I hope this will be an encouragement to all of us who so often forget who we really are.
    Loren Pinilis recently posted..Do You Have a “Get-To” Philosophy?

  7. Awesome Story Nikki!

    It’s awesome to see how He shows us his love and affection…

    as a Father…

    There are alot of people out there who have ben hurt by their “father figures”…either by abuse or abandonment or death….and it’s really hard for them to grasp this charachteristic view of Father from our God…

    But i’m glad that it hasn’t been the case for you…

    Thanks for sharing your story!!!!

    Awesome!
    Arny recently posted..Lessons From a Jedi #1 : Yoda’s Force

    • What has been neat for me to watch with my husband and my children, is what that bond is supposed to be like. My kids are too young to understand a concept as big as God, but they are learning about unconditional love, faithfulness, and a father’s love through their relationship with their Daddy. When that relationship is what God intended it to be, it’s a stepping stone for children in learning about God. Pretty cool!
      Nikki Weatherford recently posted..Dead Trees

  8. Great story and Reminder of who we are.
    Jim F recently posted..Was it all for nothing?

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