404 Coloring Inside The Lines

Coloring Inside The Lines

Love

Controlled By Love

There are very few people who will admit that they don’t need rules in their life. Sure, there are a lot of people who don’t like rules. But ultimately, people value rules over anarchy. But what if there was something better than rules?

Boundaries are a way of providing the benefits of rules without the same restrictions. It may sound like semantics but if you can distinguish between rules and boundaries, it makes all the difference.

A rule is a principle or regulation governing conduct. A boundary is something that indicates limits. A rule enforces external control. A boundary develops internal control. Boundaries always have reasons. Rules do not always require reasons. There are many more, so let’s dig in.

Next topic: boundaries

Let’s look at 3 benefits to living within boundaries:

1. Boundaries provide protection

Like rules, boundaries provide protection. Where rules regulate specific conduct, boundaries set limitations.

A rule says that alcohol is forbidden. A boundary says do not get drunk. The rule forbids an action. The boundary sets a limit. If you have never had one drop of alcohol, you can gather more reason for the boundary than you can for the rule. Both are for your protection but one controls your behavior, the other trusts you to control your behavior.

If you break a rule, you receive punishment. If you’ve ever had a sip of wine, you know it’s not enough to do any real damage. Yet because you broke the rule, the only way to prevent you from doing it again requires punishment.

However when you cross a boundary, the consequence is a deterrent in and of itself.  When you get drunk, that hangover in the morning causes immediate regret. There is no need to argue over the fine print. Every time you cross a boundary, you suffer a consequence. You don’t need an enforcer to mete out that consequence. It comes naturally as a result of the reasoning for the boundary.

2. Boundaries provide clarity

If you’ve always lived with more rules than you can count, this new lifestyle can be a little overwhelming. The new found freedom is exhilarating at first, then terrifying.

People don’t really want to do whatever they want because too many options is overwhelming. If you are without rules, you are without external direction. It’s easy to fold under this pressure and revert back to rules simply for safety.

When I was a kid, my dad wanted to go to a Chinese restaurant for lunch after church every single week. It was our family rule. You could suggest another place but you may as well have asked if we could eat tree bark. We were going to Lucky Dragon whether you liked it or not.

As a single adult, one of the staples of going to church was finding a restaurant for dinner after an evening service. I always was in the group of people that could never decide where to go. There were too many options! No kidding, I’ve stood in the parking lot for over an hour just trying to decide. Finally, I would have to start throwing out ideas: Italian? Mexican? Thai? Once we decided on that, we could finally figure out where we were going.

When you have an understanding of boundaries in your life, you can be free to make choices within those limitations. Which leads to the third benefit.

3. Boundaries provide freedom

When people, especially creatives and artists, think of rules or boundaries they typically think of a prison. Many believe that limitations kill freedom and creativity.

However in the most paradoxical way, boundaries create freedom. Boundaries can spark creativity. My friend Keith Jennings wrote a fantastic post illustrating how constraints can propel creative thinking.

An Olympic skater is limited by his rink space. Within that area he is free to be as graceful as he can be. Because of the limited space, he learns to perfect the timing for his jumps and turns.

An artist is limited by her canvas. Yet the canvas can contain unlimited shades of beauty within those bounds.

True freedom is found in learning limitations and thriving within them.

Understanding Freedom

The ability to do whatever you want isn’t freedom, it’s anarchy. Freedom is simply the absence of external control. Anarchy is confusion, chaos and disorder. Freedom requires internal control.

Freedom is about navigating through choices. Many can find freedom in rules because they don’t have to constantly make choices. In an ironic way, this is freedom:

Freedom from thought.

Developing Self-Control

Boundaries are less constraining than rules. Boundaries open up choices. To be able to make wise choices, you must master self-control.

You will never learn self-control without an environment of freedom. Rules pose external control which limit choice and remove freedom. Boundaries provide freedom of choice within limitations.

Rules teach obedience. Freedom teaches self-control. If you have too many rules, you will never develop your inner life.

The more external controls you need, the fewer internal controls you breed.

Controlled By Love

The strongest controlling force is love. Love is also the most effective motivator. Not reciprocal love, self-less love.

“For the love of Christ controls us, because we have concluded this: that one has died for all, therefore all have died.” 2 Corinthians 5:14

Love naturally creates boundaries. Love creates boundaries for protection, not for control. Loves creates boundaries for clarity, not for demands. Love creates boundaries for freedom, not for constraint.

Just as Adam and Eve were given a choice between the two trees, we are given a choice. We still eat from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil and so we must learn to navigate between the two choices.

With freedom comes responsibility. We are responsible for the consequences of the choices we make in our life. God gives us this freedom and these choices because more than compliance, He wants our hearts.

As we move away from the external control of rules, we can move into the internal control of love. When we are controlled by the love of Christ, we can truly walk in the Spirit.

“Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.” 2 Corinthians 3:17

Do you prefer rules or boundaries? What is the danger of replacing rules with boundaries?

*If you missed the first part of this series, read Life Without Rules

Comments

  1. Tony, you really hammered this topic out beautifully! Thank you for guiding me to it! This is actually a post I am going to print out and place in my notebook that I keep so I can refer back to for my own personal study. Nuggets of sincerely deep wisdom are spoken here, that even as one who understands boundaries a bit more herself, I need constant reminding of so I don’t fall of the balance beam. Of if I do fall off, I can always pick myself back up and grow from the fall. 🙂
    Marni Arnold recently posted..Whining About Whining

    • Thank you so much, Marni. This may have been one of my favorite posts to write. Mostly because it’s been a continual process of learning about boundaries.

      That’s one of the best things about boundaries. Since there is no punishment (Rom. 8:1), when we fall off we don’t have to fear. We just accept the consequences and get right back up!

  2. As a natural artist I understand the difference between rules and boundaries. However even within rules there are boundaries. Rules are strict, and even though they are broken many times, they shouldn’t be proken at all. It seems like once you break the rules you can’t go back. Boundaries are set, but they can often be crossed over with little fanfare and repercussions!
    Ed recently posted..Who’s Fooling Who?

    • It sounds like we’re coming from a different angle on this one, Ed.

      I believe there are rules that should never be broken but the rule doesn’t necessarily tell you why. A boundary always tells you why.

      And I disagree in that a boundary can be crossed without any repercussion. If it is a necessary boundary, there will always be a consequence to crossing it. Otherwise, it may be that the boundary wasn’t set correctly.

      Let me know if you see an exception to this! I’d love to hear more of your perspective on that.

  3. Okay Tony, you’ve got me thinking! Just this week I’ve been dwelling on what feels like a departure from discipline in my spiritual life. Is it that I need to keep the rules or honor the boundaries? Hmmm… (goes off to ponder)

    Thanks!
    Alison recently posted..I’m just not that into You

  4. This post made me think, Tony. But I want to stir some things up (respectfully, I hope!). I think that sometimes we’re called to colour outside the lines, to push the boundaries. Not in drinking or destructive behaviour but perhaps in creative pursuits and in thinking. Teens test limits; its part of what propels them (hopefully safely) into adulthood. Jesus certainly did.

    Your thoughts?
    Leanne Shirtliffe recently posted..On the Move: Dentists, Paying It Forward, and My 10 Cents

    • I think when it’s safe to color outside the lines is when the lines are drawn by rules. I’m definitely a rule-breaker. Especially with rules that don’t make sense to me. That’s when I like to color outside the lines. I even encourage it. I believe all authority should be questioned as long as it’s questioned respectfully.

      Boundaries give you the freedom to push and test the limits. The consequences of your actions will determine where the boundaries are drawn and when they should be expanded or pulled in.

      Make sense?

  5. And now that I think about it, my mom / grandma never forbade me to drink or smoke or anything. And it never interested me – what’s the point of doing something like that when there’s no rule to break?

    At the same time, when someone told me that as a Christian I could not read Harry Potter and Da Vinci Code (and whoever told me that did not read the books himself), I decided to read them – and while Da Vinci Code for me is just a book, I love Potter series and keep finding more and more life lessons in it – as well as correlations to the Gospel. (the one who forbade me to read those obviously did not know me well – the books are half of my life))))
    Zee recently posted..[a tribute to my grandma]

    • That’s another great point about our curious nature. When we’re given a rule without a reason (or what we think is a good reason), it makes us want to do it even more.

      I read the Da Vinci Code and I enjoyed it for what it was, fiction. I wasn’t afraid of it and I didn’t understand why everyone was so worried about it.

      I was late to the game with Harry Potter. I haven’t read any of the books but I just watched all 8 movies in 3 weeks!

      • Heh… my best friend and I recently had a Potter marathon – we watched 7 movies in one day 🙂 She was the one who lent me my first Potter book.

        Out of all movies-made-from-books, Potter series are good, but there’s so much that the movies did not show – the internal struggles, the discussions that Harry had with Dumbledore or with Ron and Hermione… *Ahem*… Sorry, I can talk about Potter for hours… (But seriously – if you liked the movies – read the books – you’ll love them).
        Zee recently posted..[a tribute to my grandma]

  6. I definitely like the way you write, Tony. The tiny bit of Spock-like logic in me rejoices when I read something that is presented so clearly 🙂

    I fully agree with you – boundaries are way better than rules. But I guess rules and boundaries can be compared to a bike – rules being the training wheels and boundaries – the bike itself. To learn self-control, you need to start out with rules. Then, when the “training wheels” are no longer necessary, you get rid of them, but you are left with the bike – and you still need to make wise decisions as to where to ride that bike 🙂 (I hope this makes sense…)
    Zee recently posted..[a tribute to my grandma]

    • I really like your bike analogy, Zee! It’s a great point because to ride a bike, you have to have self-control. You have to be able to manage yourself to handle the bike and ride with freedom!

      Love it!

  7. great thoughts, Tony.

    We can argue all day about what the rules are. There is less argument about boundaries.

    I’m thinking about respect. Don’t speak unless spoken to – rules. Showing respect for those in authority (honoring your father and mother, doing unto others) – boundaries. Rules usually have arbitrary punishments (doesn’t always “fit” the crime) but boundaries have relational implications or natural consequences, as you say.

    I want to live within the boundaries of parental relationships, not necessarily blindly following the rules, which is typically impersonal.
    kristinherdy recently posted..To Love A (Wo)Man

    • Ah, that’s a great point about arbitrary punishments. That’s another sore point for rule followers. Also, if you have a punishment that is strong enough, then you have people following a rule for the simple fact that they don’t ever want to receive that punishment. You’ll never get obedience of the heart with fear.

  8. I think that I prefer boundaries because it communicates a sense of trust and feels empowering to live up to expectations instead of not disappointing someone by breaking rules.

    Seems like boundaries are more “do this” while rules are more “don’t do this”.

    The danger of replacing rules with boundaries is that humans are flawed and naturally selfish. We’ll push the boundaries until we fall of the edge of the envelope.
    ThatGuyKC recently posted..What If You Could Be A Student Forever?

  9. “True freedom is found in learning limitations and thriving within them.”

    This is the best line of your whole post. I think too often we see boundaries as confining, but really, they are liberating. I love boundaries over rules, and have boundaries set in my life to make sure I stay on the path God has for me. Without them, I don’t know what I would be doing.
    Jason Vana recently posted..Do Not Be Afraid

    • Thanks man. That one just kinda spilled out. I didn’t even get it fully until I reread the post.

      It all comes down to self-control. God trusts us. In that trust comes freedom. We can never fully worship Him in freedom until we can have the self-control to handle that freedom.

      This is all stuff that I’m just really learning. I feel like it’s the tip of the iceberg.

  10. great blog,, thought provoking.. deleted what i wrote..lol dont want ya thinking im crayer than you already think.. but keep it up. you inspire me

  11. I understand what you are trying to say, but it still rubs me the wrong way. Freedom, true freedom, has no limits, boundaries or rules.

    I can drink, I can get drunk if I want to but I won’t because I’ve learned that it doesn’t please the Father.

    I can flirt, I can be physical with another man but I won’t because I’ve learned (not by experience, just so you know) that it doesn’t please my husband.

    There is no limit, no boundary to the way we can bring the Father pleasure; there is no limit or boundary to the way we can wound the Father’s heart. An unconditional love relationship has to be that – unconditional. A relationship that includes a boundary, no matter how loving and good intentional, is based on a condition.

    Do you think there is any truth to what I’m saying?
    Andrea York (@andreayorkmuse) recently posted..Say Good Bye to Brooklyn

    • I absolutely agree with what you’re saying… but at the same time, you’ve illustrated Tony’s point.

      You don’t get drunk and you don’t flirt… those are self-imposed boundaries that you choose not to cross. You are free to do whatever you what, but you choose to live within boundaries.

      I think you’re looking at boundaries as though they are imposed by someone or something external. The boundary Tony is talking about isn’t a God-imposed or a husband imposed boundary. They are self-imposed limitations on the exercise of your freedom.

      I think what rubs you wrong is that the word “boundary” implies a restriction someone set for you… but if you live within the restriction of your own volition, it’s still creating a boundary you don’t cross.
      dan mcm recently posted..Guest post for David Nilsen at “The Screaming Kettle at Home”

    • I hear what you’re saying Andrea and I think Dan’s response was really good too.

      God gives us truth. God gives us choice. If we really love God, the love of Christ “controls” us. It’s internal control not external control.

      The boundaries we create are self-imposed due to the self-control that we’ve developed.

      Again, rules work but only to modify behavior. They don’t connect your heart to the rule-giver. Only self-imposed boundaries can do that.

      As I’ve studied this out, I’m leaning toward what I said in that true freedom isn’t just the ability to do whatever you want. I just don’t see that as healthy. And yet, the Word says that where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.

      What do you think of when you read that verse?

      • I think Dan’s comments are good, too. Maybe I’m just bristling at the language.

        It is also freedom to be who we are: created in his image, bearing the character of God AND thru Christ, we are a new creation. These are such lofty thoughts and ideas, it’s impossible for the finite mind of an old man to understand them. Thank God we are a new creation and we can put on the mind of Christ.

        I think what bothers me is the idea of boundaries – it still focuses on maintaining and controlling the old man (he’s dead), rather than focussing on who we are by the Spirit.

        Because where boundaries exist, they exist, period. We are trying to manage and cope with a dead man. We dress him up, put on some perfume, tell him to sit, and stay but he’s dead!!!

        Perhaps, we should ask, are there boundaries in heaven? Because we should be praying God’s will on earth as it is in heaven.

        We are a new creation, the old [dead] guy is gone. We live by the Spirit and we have the Spirit without limit (John 3:34). There is no limit to the fruit of the Spirit.
        Andrea York (@andreayorkmuse) recently posted..Don’t be an idiot…

        • I think of it like this. I picture myself in a disagreement with someone. I’m face to face with them and they become so angry that they spit in my face.

          Now I can enforce a rule of eye for an eye and spit right back in their face. Or I can set a boundary of not returning evil for evil.

          If I have no self-control, I NEED to enforce the rule. Fear makes me think that if they are not punished, they will do it again or that they won’t suffer any consequence.

          Boundaries give me the option to make a choice to return the offense, to walk away or to bless them.

          Blessing them would please God but I can only do that with self-control. Because here’s the kicker. It’s not pleasing if blessing them is a rule. Then I’m not operating with the freedom I’ve been given. I’m being obedient with my actions but not with my heart.

          I need self-imposed boundaries to teach me self control. Because I’m free, I can pretty do whatever I want in this situation. But boundaries teach me to do what pleases God because I love him.

          Does that make sense?

          • Tony, it makes sense and I understand what your post and your comments are saying. I don’t ‘not’ disagree but this is one of those subjects that I need to wrestle with.

            Interestingly enough, in the last 3 days, I’ve had several conversations about this. Today, I need to give an answer (to someone else) and although I ‘feel’ what is right, I don’t have the language for it.

            I’ve been studying the Scriptures, but this morning, I need to be in the presence of the Lord. I find peace there and I’ll let you know if I receive any revelations while I’m there. 🙂

            Thanks for the interaction and for letting me ‘think out loud’.
            Andrea York (@andreayorkmuse) recently posted..Don’t be an idiot…

        • I get and like what you’re saying here…. My problem is that the old (dead) guy keeps acting like a zombie and come out to play. I need to keep my boundaries where they are to keep my zombie in check!
          dan mcm recently posted..Stunned by Beauty

  12. Your little bit about choosing a restaurant after church had me LOL’ing fo realz. I have sooooo been there. The longer it takes to decide on a restaurant, the hungrier and grouchier people get and the less able you are to make a good decision. Then, you end up going to the same old place. So.not.fun. With one group of friends we took turns deciding. Whoever’s bday was closest to that weekend got to choose the restaurant. It worked out really well!

    I am a huge fan of boundaries. The best thing about boundaries is that they provide clarification. Boundaries allow you to explore the why, the reasoning, and helps you to create a healthy relationship.

    I believe that God gives us boundaries in our choices. I don’t think He says, “Choose University A or your life will forever be ruined.” No, He allows us to seek out a plan, hopefully dependent on His guidance. But, even when we stray from that, He always keeps us within the boundary of His love. He promises, “that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” The boundary is His purpose for me, which is ultimately to glorify Him. Even when I stray from the “rules”, I am kept in His boundary of creating purpose out of my screwups, my trials, and my challenges.

    I’m not advocating screwing up just to see how God can turn it around. What I’m saying is that no matter what we choose, we can be assured that He will use it for our good and for His glory. That’s His ultimate boundary.
    Keri recently posted..Fall Entertainment Preview

    • I feel like I want to study this out more but I’m fascinated about the whole Tree of Life vs Tree of Knowledge of Good & Evil. Just throwing thoughts out there, I don’t think rules or boundaries would have ever been necessary if they never ate from that forbidden tree. It’s a fascinating thought as it relates to the topic of choice.

      This was good:

      “The boundary is His purpose for me, which is ultimately to glorify Him.”

      As usual Keri, awesome line, awesome comment. We think a lot alike. I’d love to pick your brain over coffee. Katie and I were talking about paying you and the hubs a visit whenever we make it up to PNW!

      My sister just moved to Washington so I’m pretty sure we’ll be up there sooner than later.

      • I would be sooooo excited if the newlyweds came to the Best Coast! 🙂 We could go on a triple date with Melissa and Josh Brotherton!!

        RE: your thoughts about the “forbidden tree”. I’m totally with you on that thought train. I’ve thought a lot about what would be different. Would we even poop? Would there be any waste? Would animals eat other animals? Okay, so maybe its a different track than what you’re on, but I really have thought a lot about what was different then and what changed after The Fall.
        Keri recently posted..Five Minute Friday: Joy

  13. When I look at Rules vs boundaries I see it in simple terms:

    Rules: The rule giver governs the actions.

    Boundaries: the individual governs the actions (Freedom)but can experience the consequences from actions from experience rather than punishment.

    You illustrated both of these very well.
    Moe recently posted..The Christian Layoffs

  14. I prefer boundaries but I think both rules and boundaries are necessary for the Christian life.

    Some rules need to be iron-clad. Jesus being the only way to the father, for example. That’s not a boundary…that’s a rule. Yet you find many Christians who want to try and claim that’s not the case & yet still claim to be Christians.

    We live in a society where A) there’s societal pressure to conform to the world’s idea of right & wrong and B) a lot of Christians who grew up in a very permissive society where boundaries were meant to be pushed and rules ignored.

    As a result, we see a lot of people pushing a version of Christianity that is all about “showing love” and all about “making people feel welcome” while ignoring most of the boundaries and rules that are within God’s word. Then when push comes to shove vs. the world, many Christians choose to find a way to alter a “boundary” so the world will like them more instead of saying the boundary can go no further.

    In concept, Tony, I’m with you on boundaries v. rules. Watching the execution of it in America today, I’m not so sure we need as many boundaries and a few more rules.
    Jason recently posted..Day 257: Point to ponder

    • I would say that we can distinguish between rules and truth. Truth is absolute. Like Jesus being the only way is truth, not necessarily a rule.

      You can’t make rules or boundaries until you can agree on truth. That’s the problem so many people wrestle with. And that’s what causes so many disagreements!

      I don’t think we need more rules as much as we need more truth.

  15. I’ve always thought of Biblical boundaries as God creating a “sandbox” of sorts where I’m free to play any way I want to – where I can just have a great time and know that I’m safe and secure. Journeying outside of that sandbox is when I get hurt and mess things up.
    Loren Pinilis recently posted..Repentance: Journey or Destination?

  16. Love this Tony – you handled this topic well – and I see what you mean about getting the idea from Keri the other day. I told you the other day a little bit about my background on rules and boundaries – I believe for me that when we are controlled and compelled by love – it changes how we look at rules and those boundaries inside of them. When we know they are not to harm us or hold us back – but to actually prolong our life and be a safety for us – it changes everything.
    Cindy Holman recently posted..Alaska Bound!

  17. Love the post and with a background in counseling it really brings back so of the old conversations I would have. People love or hate rules because they are like a high fence that either keep you in or everyone knows that you are climbing over or out. People are always unsure of boundaries because they are normally markers and not fences – you can more easily cross a boundary without anyone else really knowing. I have found that in dealing with boundaries in my own life that I need more accountability than when dealing with rules.

    Again, excellent thoughts!
    Jim F recently posted..Wrestling? Christ, our life? Leadership?

    • Ah, that’s exactly it. Boundaries aren’t meant to be easy. Rules are easier in that regard. Freedom and choice was never meant to be easy. I believe that’s why God never wanted Adam and Eve to eat from that fruit. Full trust in God is SO much easier than having to discern good and evil.

      Boundaries require relationships to be effective. Someone who creates his own boundaries and has no one there to hold him accountable, will be sure to fall into temptation.

      I’m hoping to write another post next week about the practical side of walking this out in community.

  18. Wow…You pointed out some very great points…

    I really prefer boundries…we pretty much now the rules…but everyone wants to know HOW MUCH WE “CAN GET AWAY WITH”???

    WE MUST BE ABLE TO DEFINE THE BOUNDRIES TO OUR KIDS…

    It’s no wonder teenager ask the wrong questions…

    “Well, can I just drink one beer?” is that cool?

    “Well, we are just “messing around” we not really having sex.”

    “Well, I’m just at the club to dance, I don’t get drunk.”

    ALL THESE KIDS KNOW WHAT THE RULE IS…..THEY WANT TO KNOW…WHAT ARE THE BOUNDRIES…..CAN WE TELL THEM?…
    Arny recently posted..Lessons From a Jedi #2 : Luke’s Faith and Goodness

    • I’ve definitely heard those lines and even used them myself. That’s the problem I see with rules. If you’re following rules because they are there, you will always look for loopholes.

      Boundaries will tell these kids, “I’m not going to tell you how far to go with your girlfriend but let me ask you this. Are you honoring her with your actions?” That’s a much different discussion than searching for loopholes. It gets to the heart of the issue and the very reason why rules and boundaries even exist.

      I believe once a child turns 13, they should know the “why” behind every rule or boundary that they have been given. It gives them a heart connection to it.

      If a kid breaks a rule and is only “sorry” because she was caught, her heart will never change. But if you can show her the value of purity (for example), then the motivation is much different.

      • YES! we need to teach them to ask the RIGHT question!

        Is this action gonna help know God More?

        Is this action gonna make me embarrased if “Daddy walks in the door un-annouced?

        Is this action helping or hurting someone else and their family…(are they lieing to their parents)

        great thoughts Tony!
        Arny recently posted..Lessons From a Jedi #2 : Luke’s Faith and Goodness

        • I was just listening to a parenting podcast about this same idea, Arny! When the kids ask, “What’s my curfew?” The parent should respond, “Be home at a reasonable hour.” It creates a boundary, and not a rule. AND, it helps the kid to learn responsibility and thinking of others.
          Keri recently posted..Fall Entertainment Preview

          • wOW…GOOD idea…i would even let them come up with their OWN RULE!!!!!

            What time is curfew?

            parent: I don’t know…not late?

            What do you mean?

            Parent: Well what do you think is late?

            I don’t know…midnight?

            Parent: Ok, so i said NOT late.

            Ok…i be home by 10:00 11:00am…

            Parent: Well, i think 11 is too close to midnight which you said was late…

            Ok, Ok….i be home at 10pm…

            Parent: You said it…don’t break your own rule now baby…be carful…(AND DON’T SNEEK INTO A ANOTHER MOVIE! LOL)
            Arny recently posted..Weekend For Thought #23: The Keebler Elf Way

          • Hm, that’s a tough one because their idea of a reasonable hour may not be very reasonable to you.

            I do like the idea of setting boundaries together with your kids (over 13). That way when a boundary is crossed, the child isn’t afraid of punishment for the rule violation, they are hurt because they crossed their own boundary and they know they hurt their parent.

            Obviously, I have no idea what I’m talking about because the game probably completely changes when I have my own kids!

  19. Great insight!

  20. I prefer boundaries.

    A boundary gives me something to lean against or stay near. It gives me the creative freedom to do what I need to do. For example: When I’m asked to guest post it’s hard when people say, “write what you want” or when I build a website if they say, “you can make it look however you want”. That’s too much for me to handle. I need some boundaries. Yeah I may push them a little, but I need them.
    Michael recently posted..Happy Birthday April

    • I know exactly what you mean. This subject came up in pre-marital counseling with Katie. We talk a lot about freedom in our relationship as it relates to gender roles and expectations. But at one point we talked about how it was important to set boundaries because if you always say “just do whatever you want,” you don’t feel any sense of security.

      If she’s going to cook and I’m going to do the dishes, let’s just say that. It doesn’t mean that it has to be like that every single time, but it sets the boundary and we don’t have to figure it out from scratch every time.

  21. Excellent post! I’ve been writing about freedom and I smiled when I read that last verse you quoted. Freedom is definitely found when we keep in step with the Spirit. Loved how you said this, “True freedom is found in learning limitations and thriving within them.”
    Eileen recently posted..Tiny Crumbs Of Faith

    • It may sound weird but I feel like I can’t even take credit for some of the things I write. I have an idea, I pray and then I just let it spill out. Anything that isn’t good I’ll take ownership of. All the good stuff, the credit goes to God!

  22. This was a great post! Thanks for sharing it with all of us today!
    Brandon recently posted..Connectors Must Connect On Common Ground With Others

Speak Your Mind

*

CommentLuv badge