A few weeks ago on Twitter I wrote, “I can’t wait to get married so I can put ‘Trophy Husband‘ on my profile.” It got a ton of response. Just this week I thought about it again and it made me ask the question, “Where are all the trophy husbands?”
In just over 2 months, I’ll be a married man. I’ve been thinking about how I hear spouses speak of each other. More often than not, I hear women jokingly (kinda) complain about a man’s short-comings and guys praising their angelic wives.
Have you ever heard these phrases?
“I married up”
“I don’t deserve her”
“She’s too good for me”
“I don’t know why she puts up with me”
“She’s a saint”
These all sound great on the surface these sound great but something just doesn’t feel right to me. More than how great the wife is, I think of how much of a bad deal she got in her marriage.
It’s like there is this expectation that men are always going to be the too-much-tv-watching, anniversary-forgetting, insensitive, workaholics that have to constantly be brought back down to earth by their angelic counterpart.
How can we change the status quo?
We need a higher standard. Rather than lament imperfections and flaws in comparison to your wife’s perfection, you can honor her with your humble confidence.
Instead of being thankful that you were blessed with a woman you don’t deserve, how about you actually live worthy of that blessing?
You can honor your wife without trashing yourself. That’s not as attractive as you may think. And it’s not a very high standard to set for other young men coming behind you.
I refuse to be that guy.
Just as I know I don’t deserve God’s love, I still want to do everything in my power to live in appreciation of it. We’re called to “live lives worthy of God,” (1 Thess 2:12) not talk about how we don’t deserve His love. That’s not living worthy of it.
How much more honoring would it be to talk about your wife by sharing your strengths?
“I love to see my wife’s eyes light up when I tell her how much I love her.”
“When I serve my wife in the smallest way, she makes me feel like a hero.”
“I love it when my wife tells me she feels protected when she’s with me.”
“I constantly remind her how valuable she is because I never want her to lose her identity.”
These phrases sound a lot different than those previous ones, don’t they?
This isn’t intended to make the husbands a whipping post, but to call them to a higher standard. There are young men watching your marriage. Like it or not, you are an example.
To the guys walking this out, I honor you! I’d love to hear you talk more about this.
To the guys falling short:
You’re better than that.
I plan to come into marriage with a high standard. I want to be able to say I “married up” and give my wife reason to say the same thing. I want a marriage that I am not ashamed of. I want to be an example to others.
I want to be a trophy husband.
Husbands: What can you do to walk worthy of your wife?
Wives: What can you do to call out the greatness in your husband?
Singles: Do you aspire to be a trophy husband/wife?